March 02, 2005

White Trash Wednesday: Cocktails for the Common Folk

Who has got the time to prepare them damn fruity drinks - blenders, ice, little umbrellas and a twist of lime? Ain't the purpose of drinkin' liquor to get drunk? Why waste yer time mixing all that stuff up when I can get you some simple recipes.

Stuff you need to have that will allow you to get drunk:

1 glass or empty mason jar (I like them big ole mason jars - holds a lot of spirit iffin I do say)
water out of the hose or the sink, depending on where you sit
a big ole bottle of booze

Here's recipes that'll get you to your pink elephant reality real quick like:

Jack Daniels & Water

Pour a few glugs of good ole JD in your mason jar. Add a splash of water. Drink.

Wild Turkey & Water

Pour a few glugs of that Wild Turkey in your mason jar (once your JD is gone). Add a splash of water. Drink until gone.

Mad Dog 20/20

Hell with the mason jar and water. Pour that smooth stuff right into your mouth from that bottle. Drink until gone, makin' sure you don't spill none.

Store Brand Scotch

Get the cheapest damn scotch you can find. Sit in your chair. Drink right out of the bottle until gone. Chase it up with a shot of water, iffin you are still awake at this point.

Who needs those confarndit cityfolk concoctions? We got the stuff dreams are made of right here!