Real Life, Rachael Ray and Please Pass the Next DVD!

Hi everyone!

This is just a quick post to let you know I am still among the living. There have just been certain things that have gotten in the way of me posting anything of note:

The next "Every Day with Rachael Ray" is on my nightstand. Review will commence once I've read it cover to cover!

Work has been unbelievable! I'm running a million miles a minute there and I just don't want to do anything when I get home so my excuse is...

We are now on Season 2, Disc 3 of "24." Hubby and I have been averaging oh, about 3-4 hours a night immersing ourselves in terror plots, assassinations and wannabe first ladies. The suspense! Pretty soon we'll be throwing our kids a loaf of bread and some juice bags for dinner as we watch "the next episode." Whatever will we do when we reach the end of season 4? I don't know if I can wait a WEEK between episodes! Gah!!! Which is my reason for.....

Laundry, cleaning and bills are waiting in the wings to get done. It's really sad when you wash a load of mismatched laundry in "cold" with Woolite, just to get you through tomorrow. But it's "24." Gimme a break!

Don't you love my new skin? THANKS AGAIN SADIE LOU! I figured that for those of you who come here for Rachael Ray, John Cusimano and recipes, a nice "food" skin would be just the thing. do you like my Wusthofs? Heh!

Well...back to our warped world of counter-terrorism. I'll peek my head out from under my rock again soon!

Happy New Year! 2006!

Happy New Year, friends!

I tip my glass to you, because if I tipped it toward me, I'd get it all over my shirt!

See you after a good sleep and some Advil!

...Five Golden Rings!

The serious side of me thinks that these donors were generous:

The Salvation Army in south-central Pennsylvania has had five golden rings dropped into two of its kettles since Nov. 30.

Two donors have called to confirm the gifts.

The Salvation Army expects to sell the gold rings to a jeweler to help fund its charitable programs.

The not-so-serious side of me (and you have to admit these donors have a humorous side!) asks "where are the drummers drumming and how do they get into one of those little red kettles?"

2005 Weblog Award Finalists!

...and the finalists have been announced!

Merri Musings is in the running for an award for Best New Blog! Polls are open tomorrow (and you can vote every 24 hours if you'd like)...if you enjoy my site, please be sure to stop by and slip a vote in the ballot box for me!

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention a few of my favorites!  Please be sure to drop them a vote, too!

Best New Blog (but only if you don't wanna vote for me...wink, wink, nudge, nudge):

Common Sense Runs Wild and Soldiers' Angel Holly Aho

Best Group Blog

The Cotillion (who individually received a number of nominations....excellent job, ladies!)

Best Humor / Comics Blog

Six Meat Buffet (didn't you know there were six meats?)

Best Conservative Blog

The Jawa Report (a MUST read!)

Best Culture / Gossip Blog

Knowledge is Power (SondraK - bringing a bit of culture to the Cotillion ladies!)

Best of the Top 250 Blogs

My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy (go Beth!)

Best of the Top 501-1000 Blogs

Vince Aut Morire (there are many I could mention here, but by and far my hubby stands out for me for many reasons, so I'm pitching his site!) 

Best of the Top 2501-3500 Blogs

The Wide Awake Cafe

Congrats to everyone that was nominated!  I think it's an honor just to be nominated, let alone be a finalist!  It affirms for me why I like keeping up this little corner of the web.

Good luck to all and happy voting!

The True Cost of Christmas?

I love stuff like this!

You think saving for a new flat-panel plasma television or iPod Nano for the holidays is daunting? Be thankful you don't have to save for the original gifts of the "12 Days of Christmas."

To buy the partridge in a pear tree, the 12 drummers drumming and all the gifts in between in the verses of the famous song you'd have to shell out $18,348, according to PNC Advisors' annual survey. And if you were really true to the song, buying all the gifts including the repetitions? Those 364 items would cost a cool $72,608, up 9.5% from last year's $66,344.

Sure, gold rings are on the rise, increasing a cool 27.5% year-over-year.  But the real inflation comes with the birds (what with the avian flu scare and all...).  While the partridge in a pear tree only increased 12.90%, the six geese-a-laying increased a whopping 42.90% (!!!).  My dearest husband, I won't be getting you any geese this Christmas, sweetheart!

What was the priciest item on the list?  Well, it was close, but the nine ladies dancing edged out the swans-a-swimming.  I wonder what kind of dancing they were doing?  Hehheheheheehehehe!

Click on the link above and check out the itemized list - it's pretty funny to think about!

Husker Happenings!

I Know March is a Long Way Away, But...

The next season is coming in March 2006, and they are adding eight "bonus" episodes!  I miss The Sopranos.  Only seven months to wait...

New Special Forces unit deploying to Iraq

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the US Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).

These men from Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, Arkansas, Tennessee, Georgia, and North and South Carolina will be dropped into Iraq and have been given the following information about terrorists:

1.  The season opened today.
2.  There is no limit.
3.  They taste just like chicken.
4.  They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.
5.  They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The war in Iraq should be over in a week.

What Planet are You From?

You Are From the Moon

You can vibe with the steady rhythms of the Moon. You're in touch with your emotions and intuition. You possess a great, unmatched imagination - and an infinite memory. Ultra-sensitive, you feel at home anywhere (or with anyone). A total healer, you light the way in the dark for many.

Letter From a Farm Kid, Now a Marine Corps Recruit

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well.  Hope you are.  Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile.  Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed til nearly 6 a.m. but I am getting so I like to sleep late.

Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things.  No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay.  Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.  Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee.  Their food plus your holds you til noon when you get fed again.

It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.  We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us.  If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different.  A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home.  Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The country is nice but awful flat.  The sergeant is like a school teacher.  He nags a lot.  The Captain is like the school board.  Majors and colonels just ride around and frown.  They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing.  I keep getting medals for shooting.  I don't know why.  The bulls-eye is near big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home.  All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it.  You don't even load your own cartridges.  They came in boxes. 

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training.  You get to wrestle with them city boys.  I have to be real careful though, they break real easy.  It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home.  I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake.  I only beat him once.  He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and joing before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Gail

Why?!?

Why Would She Admit It???

A freelance writer is suing celebrated author Stephen King because she claims to be the real Annie Wilkes from King's best-seller "Misery."

That's according to a report Tuesday posted on "Celebrity Justice" online, which obtained a copy of the lawsuit filed by Anne Hiltner of New Jersey.

According to "Celebrity Justice," Hiltner claims "invasion of privacy" in the suit because the book's main character, "Psycho Nurse Wilkes," is a caricature of her.

Why would she admit this?  Hmmmm...she also says the psychic nurse in King's Animal Kingdom is based on her, claimed King's "Riding the Bullet" was stolen from her brother's manuscript and King plagerized her own writings for Misery.  Ah....perhaps claiming she's Annie Wilke's *isn't* so far off the mark!

Did He Get Gastric Bypass, or Just Stop Eating McRibs?

Ronald McDonald has joined the diet craze, among the likes of Lindsay Lohan and Randy Jackson:  "Ronald McDonald, the colorful frontman for the fast food chain, will be slimming down in a new ad campaign that the company says is aimed at promoting a healthier lifestyle."

"To keep up with this active lifestyle, Ronald McDonald went shopping and picked out a whole new wardrobe. These new outfits complement his fun, energetic style," said Rogovin.

Ronald's new threads include a warm-up suit, basketball, soccer, football uniforms, and a tuxedo for formal events. He will keep his red shoes. The streamlined version of Ronald is aimed at promoting a healthier lifestyle, company officials said.

Okay, it doesn't matter to me.  Obese or healthy, Ronald McDonald is scary.  There's just something about those evil clown eyes and pale complexion that gets me every time.  Gulp.  :::shiver:::

Why, Daddy, Why?

NEW YORK -- No, illusionist-comic Penn Jillette of the Las Vegas duo Penn & Teller isn't pulling a trick on this time: He and his wife have given their baby a name you probably haven't heard before.

Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette was born on Friday.

Jillette said they "chose her middle name because when she's pulled over for speeding she can say, 'But officer, we're on the same side. My middle name is CrimeFighter.''

He didn't give an excuse her first name, Moxie.

Okay "Moxie CrimeFighter" is one of the most stupid names I've ever heard, but I'll cut him a little slack...at least he didn't name her APPLE. 

Celebrity Breath Up for Auction (um, who cares?)

An enterprising celebrity spotter is offering fans the chance to buy a jar of fresh air allegedly breathed by stars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie for close to $US15,000 (now currently over $200,000).

"Be the first to own this jar of celebrity air, which may contain air molecules that came in direct contact with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt," the seller's statement said on eBay.

Here's the auction listing.  People are flippin' nuts.

Emily-isms

Out of the mouths of babes....and an adorable 4-year-old babe she is!

Last evening my daughter, Emily, had just got out of a rather lengthy, splash-filled bath and as I was combing her hair she looked down at her rather pruny hands and said "Mommy my hands are 'Grammy'ed!"  I thought this was absolutely hilarious, considering her Grandmother's nick name is "Grammy."  One bright - and funny - cookie she is!  We laughed a good couple of solid minutes on that one!

That Chicken is INNOCENT, I Say!

As a follow-up to my previous post regarding the chicken who got a ticket for crossing the road:

RIDGECREST, Calif.  — A chicken that got a ticket for crossing the road has clawed his way out of it.

The $54 citation for impeding traffic was dismissed Friday after Linc and Helena Moore's attorney argued that the fowl was domesticated and could not be charged as livestock.

State law restricts livestock on highways, but not domestic animals.

The chicken was ticketed March 26 for impeding traffic after it wandered onto a road in Johannesburg, a rural mining community southeast of Ridgecrest.

The Moores said they got the ticket because they were among several people who complained that deputies have done little to curb noisy off-road vehicle riders.

"For the last two and a half years, no one has been able to stop the kids riding their bikes in the middle of the road or the neighbors' dogs running around our neighborhood," Linc Moore said. "But when our chicken escaped and crossed the road once it became a huge issue."

Sheriff's officials said the ticket had nothing to do with the Moores' complaints.

There were no updates regarding the indecency charges.  Heh.

Koran Library Woes

Um....can't a guy get a copy of the Koran at the library without having to bend over backwards?

Sneak a peak under the fold....

How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

Okay - I took the test...I think I'm definitely conservative....don't ya think?

Preston, We are Here for You!

I was really going to take a night off from blogging tonight, really.  But then I saw this tragic news that made me immediately feel as though I needed to ensure that your blogging friend and mine, Preston at Six Meat Buffet is okay now that the news is out.  I think I now understand why Preston was off yesterday...

ROCK HILL, S.C. (AP) - Rock Hill police are looking for a hot hot dog. Someone appears to have stolen a sign featuring a giant wiener in a bun from the Ebenezer Grill after it closed Tuesday afternoon.

Investigators think the suspects should be easy to spot.

"It's tough to hide a 10-foot weenie," Rock Hill police Lt. Jerry Waldrop said.

Um....no.  I just can't bring myself to comment on that last quote.

The smiling hot dog has welcomed customers to the restaurant for the past 18 months, after owner Loyd Ardrey bought it to replace the aging dog that sat atop the roof for years.

When Ardrey arrived around 6 a.m. Wednesday, the 30-pound aluminum sign was gone.

"I figured, well, maybe it blew off because we had some storms last night. We looked around, and it wasn't in any yards next door or across the street or anything," Ardrey said.

Ardrey suspects some college or high school students took the sign as a prank or fraternity initiation.

The thieves had to work for their prize, Waldrop said.

"That thing had a lot of screws in it, and it was evident that the screws had been taken out," Waldrop said.

If he has to, Ardrey said he will buy another sign. The stolen sign cost about $600 dollars. He is thinking about offering a reward, but isn't sure if he should give out money or hot dogs.

...and something that I'm certain has, at least once, resonated throughout the House of Meats:

"I just want my weenie back," Ardrey said.

Preston, just know that we are all here for you should you need an ear or a shoulder, but alas, not if you need a weiner.

Kill the Wabbit....

Er, better yet, kill the PETA members HERE!

H/T to Beth and go see hubby's Deer!

And for your viewing pleasure....

Speedos are Back!

The AP reports that Speedos are now legal again for men in Cape May, NJ.  For more than 30 years, this resort area in New Jersey said a resounding NO! to men wearing the skimpy little suits.

Not that everyone's cheering. It's often the older guys - the ones with beer guts, or wrinkly skin, or unsightly tufts of hair - who wear the tiny swimsuits.

Oh, you mean like this guy?

"The people you want to see in the Speedos, you don't," said Maggie Creighton, 19, who works in a downtown lingerie store.

I think young Maggie was hoping to see this guy there:

Sorry, Maggie.  Ain't gonna happen!  That's the stuff of Speedo catalogs, I'm afraid!

"A lot of people do come in and say 'Do you carry Speedos?' said Becky Fitzgerald, sales clerk at Della's General Store. "It's the 40- to 50-year-old group who ask. And it's funny, their bodies aren't the shape for Speedos."

Whodathunkit?

Crossposted at The Wideawakes

Happy Blogiversary to my Hubby!

I wanted to wish my dear hubby, Eric at Vince Aut Morire, a Happy one year Blogiversary!

I started my blog because of him, just to get into his head and find out what this "blog stuff" was all about.  Because of him, I've been doing it myself since December.  I only wish I could be half as good at touching the lives of others - I've been amazed at how many people he has touched.  Most of us have been hit with rolls of laughter at his deranged sense of humor, but many have also been touched because what he wrote about had directly impacted their lives and they want to thank him for writing about their loved one, when it seemed everyone else - ahem, note "MSM" - had forgotten.  He also has a way with the French, and I mean that with only the utmost respect...hee hee.

Honey - Happy Blogiversary!  I know I can't say that I was supportive 100% of the time because I've always been trying to pull you away from the 'puter to spend time with me (other than via email...hehehehe), but I am very supportive of why you do what you do and will always admire and respect your talent and straightforwardness. 

That being said, I wanted to give you a special gift.

Drum roll, please......

Evil Poetry Meme

Okay....so I got tagged to be a part of this Evil Poetry Meme by Raven and Beth.  So here's my work of art:

Turd in a punchbowl

Shoot it out your blowhole

Turd in a punchbowl

How did I get in this meme roll?

So before you think I'm more crazy than I already am, I had to put "turd in a punchbowl" in the first & third lines of the poem.  I hope you like it Beth and Raven...I don't have three blog friends who haven't done this already, so I don't think I can pass this along, but I will certainly encourage everyone to go read yours and to read Vinnie's award winning contribution!

Cowboy Poetry Week

You heard it first, right here, ya'll.  This week is Cowboy Poetry Week.  You think I'm like a horse needin' to go out to pasture?  Not me.  Take off your hat and kick off your boots because Cowboy Poetry Week is here!

And to honor this celebration, I bring to you a most amazing poem that I'm sure will bring back fond memories for many of you regarding baths as a youngun.  I especially like the part about the squealing hog.  Reminds me of the movie "Deliverance."  Enjoy, ya'll!

Ma's Old Galvanized Washtub

Did you ever take your Saturday Bath
An' try to wash an' scrub,
While squattin' down on your haunches
In a galvanized washing tub?
If not, then you ain't missed a thing.
But now I'm telling' you what's right.
I done it 'til I wuz almost grown
An' every doggone Saturday night!
In summer it was bad enuff
But, in winter it was rough.
Spreading papers, buckets and kettles
An all of that sort of stuff.
Getting ready for that ordeal
Was only half the rub
Of takin' a bath on Saturday night
In a galvanized washin' tub.
Did you ever stand there stripped to the skin,
A wood stove bakin' your hide,
A dreadin' to put your dern foot in
Fer Fear you'd be burned alive?
Finally you'd git th' temperature right
An' into th' tub you'd crawl.
That cold steel 'ud touch your back
An' you'd squeal like a fresh stuck hog!
Then you'd get outa the tub next to the stove
And stand there drippin' and shakin'.
The front of your body is freezing to death
While the back of your body is bakin'.
Shiverin' 'n' shakin', burnin' 'n' bakin',
That's the awful price I had to pay.
That awful ordeal'll haunt me'
Until I'm old and gray.
I ain't done yet?there's something' else
That I've been wantin' to say.'
I wuz the youngest of all us kids
Who bathed on Saturday.
We all bathed accordin' to age
And I fell last in order,
Which meant I had to wash myself
In their dad-blamed dirty water.
Now, I'm a guy (gal) o'clean habits
And believe in a bath a week.
It helps to keep me healthy
And freshen my physique.
But if I had my druthers,
I'd rather eat a bug
Than to take my Saturday bath
In a galvanized washin' tub!

Author Unknown

Thursday is a Great Day of Observance

Okay.  This is exciting news!  Tomorrow, April 7, 2005 is "No Housework Day."  I'm very excited about this, because Lord knows I do housework every other day!

BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

A Point to Ponder...

Tomorrow, April 6, 2005 is "Paraprofessional Appreciation Day."  I got confused, as Administrative Professionals Day is usually toward the end of the month of April.  So upon further research, I discovered that "Paraprofessional Appreciation Day" is on April 6th and "Administrative Professionals Day" is on April 27th this year.

Just to be sure I was being politically correct and recognizing all levels of people related to professionals in my ever politically correct work environment, I decided to investigate the differences between these two iconic days of recognition.  Webster's Dictionary helps us define the differences between these two professions:

Administrative Professional:  A person employed to handle correspondence, keep files, and do clerical work for another person or an organization  (for those of you in a non-politically correct setting, this would translate into the word "secretary").

Paraprofessional:  A trained worker who is not a member of a given profession but assists a professional.

Hmmm....I wonder where fetching coffee or washing the car fits in?  Of course I'm kidding, but when *I* was a secretary Administrative Professional, I did take care of the house and the cat for my boss. 

For me, I always need to understand things visually, so thought I would include a hypothetical organizational chart in a hypothetical situation:

So here are my points to ponder:

Since Fred has "professional" in his title, wouldn't it seem natural to have paraprofessionals report to him, since they are required to work for a professional?

1. Would Jack or Jill be able to report to Merri, or are they unable to since she truly isn't professional? 

What is the point of this post, really?

Anyway, what I've concluded is that the florists, gift shop owners and Hallmark all got together and came up with another day in which to send cards, flowers and gifts.  Oh, and the restaurants - let's not forget them either!

Don't forget to hug your paraprofessional on Wednesday!  They truly do need a hug, as they aren't really a member of any profession, but have to work anyway.   

Tomorrow is National Workplace Napping Day!

I wanted to remind everyone that tomorrow, April 4, 2005 is National Workplace Napping Day!

Apparently, there are many places that celebrate this annual holiday, which occurs on the first Monday following Daylight Savings time.  When I scoured the official website of National Workplace Napping Day, I found it to be extremely informative and wanted to share it with all of you. 

National Workplace Napping Day is designed to make more people aware of the health and productivity benefits of napping. It is the perfect day for workplace nappers to lie down and be counted.

I would be interested in hearing how the masses are celebrating this day - please share in my comments.  I, personally, won't be celebrating this holiday because I own a Select Number Bed and will be fully rested, of course!

One Bad Republican Momma!

This is how we arm ourselves when we go out on the town in Omaha - especially on the North side...hehehe

h/t to Beth....what fun!  I had a blast creating my own Southpark character!

How Jedi Are You?

:: how jedi are you? ::

I thought this was a cute little quiz - and can't help that I like the Star Wars movies! In light of III coming out in May, thought I'd take the quiz....I am Yoda. HEHEHEHEHEH

Thanks, Emma!

UPDATE: I know I'm probably behind the times, but the trailers at www.starwars.com are awesome. You should check them out!