May 22, 2005

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I know, I read this story at Tammy's blog and it just makes me more and more angry. Just sad is what it is. Thanks for making some more noise about it. One of these days we, bloggers, will make some changes in the punishment of child molesters and killers; that is my hope anyway.

And thanks for stopping by my new place and leaving such a nice compliment. I am plum wore out, though, from changing everything, although, Tammy did MOST of the work.

Now that I have my new place I have gotten bloggers block.....can't think of anything to say! LOL

posted by An American Housewife at May 22, 2005 05:52 PM

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Thank you for posting about this story. We simply have got to do whatever we can to make sure that this monster never sees the light of day again.

posted by Tammy at May 22, 2005 09:40 PM

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I have seen with interest your stories on "non-parents," especially the monster in Zion near us in Chicago. I thought I might send a story about "non-parents" before it becomes news.

My ex-wife's present husband was arrested (03MC3006840) on charges of domestic battery and aggravated deadly assault for "choking her, punching her in the chest, biting her face, and then grabbing two knives and then threatening to kill her and both her [i.e. our] children," all in the presence of our sons. The neighbors prevailed on her to file the charges, he was arrested and waived his Miranda rights and signed on the confession. But then she dropped the charges two weeks later.

The restraining order indicates she lied about not being involved in another suit (our divorce (01D14833) was on going, in fact the court evaluator was supposedly investigating at the time but found no reason to interview the boyfriend). Although it asks whether the children were his, it does not ask (since they aren't) "where's dad?" Hence I did not know at the time, and since the divorce court never spent much time looking into how fit mom was, it did not come up there.

At the time, they were not married (technically she and I were)—he had been introduced to her because he needed a green card. She married him a month after our divorce, a few months after the incident.

I found this out the following year, when mom was arrested for child endangerment (04-36148), when the police gave the boys ( 5 + 7) to me, and per DCFS, were to stay with me. I had filed petitions to the divorce court over the preceding year regarding bruises the boys told me "Spider" (his name) gave them. The Illinois state’s attorney, who recognized him, told me “if that man is anywhere near your children, they are in grave danger of their lives!�

The divorce judge had other ideas. Dismissing it as "not an emergency" she gave the boys back to their mother, not even waiting for the DCFS report and ignoring the recommendation of the boys' psychologist that mom's household needed to be investigated. The DCFS report, when it came, indicated neglect/abuse.

The divorce judge was angry with me because I refused to sign for passports for the boys, and had told me “when you come here for anything I am going to tell you “NO!.� Their mother first filed for divorce to pursue an affair with an old boyfriend who hit her during their prior relationship and, the last time she saw him in their native Romania, was beating his wife in public. Mom promised to pass our sons off as his when she arrived in Europe. Given that history, and—as the court psych report indicated—her desire to eliminate me from our sons' lives, I did not think passports a good idea. The State Department didn't either (one official asked me "what kind of idiocy goes on in Cook County?"), and they delayed issuing the passports as far as they could, until they at last had to comply with the order from the divorce court giving her passports.

The petition for modification of custody is still going on because I refuse to withdraw it. In the meantime, we will be in criminal court next month (05MC3001287). "Spider" attacked me while I was trying to pick up the boys, in front of their school, amongst the masses of children. (One of the officers expressed relief that I was pressing charges. The police have gotten used to calls concerning their household, and he said "this guy needs to be put away.").

I might add, their mother has never even alleged violence from me (and, she has in fact assaulted me in front of our sons). If for no other reason, I have to stay in our sons' lives because I do not want them to learn from mom's succession of abusers how to treat women, so they are not little Hobbs in the making (somehow I suspect this is in Hobbs' past). But I have the problem of the enabling courts.

I also might add, our older son has a severe hearing loss which the doctor's believe is connected to a fatal kidney disease (Alport’s syndrome), and I have to go to court for him to see the nephrologist. The disease is inherited through the mother, who in this case is in deep denial.

Stay turned. I am sure, due Court indifference, my sons’ lives are tragedies awaiting to happen.

By the way, great mast head. I have always loved the Birth of Venus. Also the Italian (our older son wants to learn it, so I have started).

posted by Isa Almisry at May 29, 2005 05:43 PM

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Isa - I'm beyond words here. I truly admire your diligence - you are obviously NOT a non-parent. Bless you and your children and you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted and may you only find a speedy and positive resolution to this situation (i.e. abuser in prison and you with custody of the children).

posted by Merri at May 29, 2005 09:54 PM

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I will pray vigilantly for you Isa.

posted by epiphany at May 30, 2005 01:05 AM

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Oh my dear God Almighty above! Please everyone keep these children in your prayers. Keep up the fight Isa and stay vigilant! God Bless you.

posted by An American Housewife at May 30, 2005 10:47 AM

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